The evening of my Mother’s passing I decided to reach out to see if I could find her. I knew myself to be firmly in denial of her transition, holding both an expansive and boundless sense of joy for her as she stepped out into the magic of that place beyond the veil, as well as a profound numbness that simply has no words.
I had no doubt that my Mom would connect with me at some point, but was it too soon? Closing my eyes I listened and then asked her
Can it be true?
Can I feel your hand still in mine?
We had been holding hands each day I visited with her prior to her passing. I was almost sure that I could feel the warmth of her touch.
Shifting deeper into a meditative state to that presence I hold as my soul self I asked her further –
Would you say
From your perspective
Time stood still for eternity
So we would never part?
I heard her say …
I can hear your voice
Whisper in my ear,
“Don’t go!”
You say
But I have never left love
Never
I’m with you here
Always and forever
We will never part
We are one!
Can you imagine what joy there is
In that simple truth?
You are with me always
There is no separation
Sitting where I am on this side of the veil, I look up through the bottom of a circular portal into the space above me. There I see my Mom and I sitting side-by-side, so close we are touching. We glance at each other joyfully, then through the portal to the mysterious image of me down below. We seem to be at a table, looking into a mirror that is lying there. (Is it a scrying mirror?) I realize then – I remember that we have always been sitting beside each other. The place from which I look up is the illusion. The experience we are having here on earth is a projection of curiosity and thought and the greatest love. But, in reality, my Mother and I have never parted. We are sitting side by side together as always! No one ever left. This side is just an idea….
At once, I admitted to myself that this imagery is my truth. Nevertheless, I am here, now, on my earth journey. The experience of ‘separation’ is of equal truth – one I chose to experience when I came here. Honouring both realities in this way does make her passing easier. I let my heart dance for her within the magic of her own journey, while allowing myself to grieve as deeply and often as I feel the need. I miss my Mom every day – EVERY day – with joyful and equally sorrowful heart.
I love her that much.
~
Dear Ania, your story is so beautiful. I sadly most my Mother 3 years ago this May, she passed with a broken heart as we lost our oldest brother to cancer 5 months prior. My greatest regret is I wasent there to hold her hand. I am a great believer in the spirit world and i know in my heart that we will be together again when the time is right, in which I find great comfort. Thank you for sharing your words of comfort. With love Amanda x x x sending you loveing healing energy x x x
Hi Catherine (and Debra),
My heart goes out to both of you. I watched my 58 year old mother take her last breath nearly three years ago. She was deeply spiritual and I felt honored to be by her side as she left her human form. Despite knowing her soul was free to roam and play, it has taken me nearly all this time to come to terms with her leaving. So many times over the past few years I’ve had “aha” moments when I thought to myself: “I wish she was here to see this” or “if only I knew then what I know now… in particular about self love and acceptance, maybe she’d have recovered”… but then it dawns on me, all the magic which I’ve experienced since her passing may very well be her nudging me along and helping me on my journey.
Blessings,
Ania
Oh Ania!
I couldn’t agree with you more! There is every possibility that your Mom is there with you laying out reminders that she is near to you always. How beautiful is that?
I used to struggle with that idea. I would ask myself, “How can a spirit be with me always, and also with my family, or my friends? How is that possible?” . Now, I experience that truth in my own life on a regular basis. I am here, but also with a friend thousands of miles away seeing through their eyes and knowing what they know. The experience is far more than simply thought, (although thought is important in its ability to move us through time and space). Being in two places for me refers to being physically present here and equally present in the soul self in another space. I live the truth of being in two places at once. Why wouldn’t it be possible beyond the veil, where time and place and space have no attachments to singularity.
I mention this because I want to also suggest that it is entirely possible that the message I received from my Mom is also a message to you from your Mom with me as her conduit. Why else would you have found me? Sharing what comes to me with the world is based on this very idea. I believe profoundly that the messages that come to me, the spirits who speak through me, the stories I hear and write down – are not for my own entertainment. How blessed am I, to be a conduit of such love?
I’m sorry for your loss, Ania. Three years is like yesterday in many ways. I hope you keep having those ‘aha’s and I bet each time this happens for you, you have a conversation with your mom. Write it down, Ania!! Share it! There are so many who will feel what you feel in the telling.
With love,
Catherine ~
I just lost my mom suddenly on Feb. 23, 2016 and while I knew because of her health this could happen at any moment, I sincerely thought we had a few more years together and I have never felt so alone in my life! My mom and I often spoke of life after death and I while I want to communicate with her, I haven’t learned to meditate and it’s difficult for me to quiet my mind. I am an empath and I believe that I should be able to pick up on her energy. Knowing all that I know about spiritual awakening and such, I am able to deal with this as such but it still hurts really bad! She was my best friend and I can’t imagine the rest of my life without her! I just want my Moma!
Dear Debra!
I am so sorry for your loss. We are in the same place, you and I. Having contacted a few psychics I know, and spoken to many who have had a recent loss the general consensus seems to be that it can be a few months before the spirit of our loved one is ready to connect with us in a more visible way. My realization with this years ago was that the spirit of that one we love so much simply moves right into our hearts and lives there, walking with us in our grief. It was years before I recognized my Father in this way – but when I realized this truth – he came to me in powerful ways.
Look into your heart first, and allow yourself to feel that connection and trust that your Mom has no interest but to be right there walking with you. There can be funny little signs, though, if we are able to look for them. My Mom seems to be showing up in coins, for instance. Dimes, in particular. She drops them in my path where ever I go, these past two months. (She passed over January 17, 2016). I had no idea coins were a sign of loved ones beyond the veil.
Love to you, dear heart. I’ll ask for love and light for you in your healing.
Catherine ~